Okay Salem, you are my beloved home, but you are sorely lacking in one thing: Grits! This morning, I did a radio segment with Dr. Alvin Augustus Jones on WCBQ AM in North Carolina. Always inspiring! After that, I ordered a room service breakfast (one of the many fun things about being on book tour). And, long story short, they sent me grits. I love grits. I love everything about them. As a person of Irish decent, I've had the unusual and sad experience of being allergic to potatoes. Don't even say it. No one is allergic to potatoes. It's ridiculous. But, even if I weren't allergic, I would prefer grits to potatoes every time. So Salem, here is my proposal: I think we should become the grits capital of the Northeast. We should serve grits with breakfast, lunch and dinner. I'm sure that the Grits Council of America, if there is such a thing, would be proud and happy to help promote Salem as Grittiest City in the Northeast. I will certainly do my part to help with this endeavor. And, on the off chance that Salem doesn't go for my brilliant proposal, can someone please tell me of a restaurant in the Northeast where I can get a good bowl of grits?